For the last 3 years of living with these cats, it has been established that they do not sit on the tables.  Or the counter. addicted Then, there were dogs over here, for like 2 days.  ONLY 2 DAYS!!  The cat food had to go on the counter (because dogs these dogs are ravenous pigs) and one of the cats now thinks that it is okay to sleep on the counter and sit and bathe on the coffee table.  No. This is not okay.

I think she is actually addicted to sitting on uncomfortable items. I caught her sleeping waterdrinkeron my bike on the porch the other day when there is a really comfortable armchair (yes, sometimes armchairs belong on porches) like, 3 feet away.  I don’t understand this.  It has become a real problem.  Especially when she sleeps on a black garbage bag on the counter and she blends in and I can’t see her and then she wakes up when I am making something and scares the shit out of me.  Not cool, Aravis, not cool.  (Maybe she thinks she is a real life princess because she is named after a queen of Narnia and she thinks that the tables and counters are her throne.  She’s not a princess.  Just saying, Aravis. Get a life.)

I am seriously considering getting one of those plastic carpet things that grandmothers get to protect the carpet (just get hardwoods, those things are awful) and turning it upside down on the table so there will be plastic spikes.  This is all to help her addiction.  I can’t have her ruining the furniture be an enabler.  whore

She only sits on the couch if Justin is over here, who she has known for approximately 8 months and who is allergic to her. Here is her whoring herself out to Justin.

I have also considered that she hates me. She just completely ignores me when I am talking to her.  I’m like, “Hey you!  I feed you!  Look at me when I am talking to you!!” And she’s all like, “I don’t hear anything, I am looking out the window” except she doesn’t say that because she is a cat and can’t talk. But she is thinking it. I can tell.

needs-helpHere she is 5 minutes ago while I am telling her to get off the table.  I can tell that she really wants to get off, I can see it in her eyes, but she can’t because she’s addicted.  Like just before a heroin addict shoots up, they don’t want to, but they have to. It is like the same thing.

I’m here for you Aravis, to love you through your addiction, but not too much, because you are going to get stabbed with plastic spikes soon and I want you off the tables.

 

P.S. It’s the cat that’s the whore. Not Justin.

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