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I woke up this morning at 3:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  So, I’m writing that post.

This year have been extremely weird.  For those who know me, I have been difficult this year and have had a somewhat difficult year.  See, it all works out.  Have a hard time, be a pain in the ass.

My whole life, I have been looking for a place to fit and this is the first time ever I feel like I do.  It’s a great feeling.  The support from my friends and from Twitter and blog friends has been amazing and incredibly enlightening.  I am so grateful for the people I have met on the internet this year, the community I feel apart of is wonderful and loving…it’s awesome!

I was telling a friend last night that it’s amazing what difference a year makes.  I can’t imagine being where I was on New Year’s Eve last year.  The person I was that night and the person who is sitting here typing this are different, yet I wouldn’t be here without her.  I have never felt so grateful or so content EVER, and it’s so unexpected!  I realized, finally, that life isn’t about hopping from one moment of happiness to another, it’s about being content and loving yourself and making healthy decisions.

So, the things I would like to change before 2011 (because New Year’s Resolutions are hard, but year goals are easier, for me anyway):

  • Quit smoking!!
  • Be less of a sass mouth
  • Take more personal risks
  • Be less judgmental
  • Be nicer

There are more, but these are the major ones.  And it’s 4 am and I’m getting distracted by Law & Order.  Thanks for everything!  I hearts you’s guys!


I think I should have an invisible car.  That way, I can drive however I want and no one will be able to see me.  Because I am a way more competent driver than all of the other cars on the road, according to me. And, I will become invisible once I get in the car because it will be super weird to see me in a sitting position hovering above the ground.  Could cause a lot of accidents.  See, I thought of everything.

Think of the possibilities!!  With an invisible car, I can weave in and out of traffic and drive on the wrong side of the road.  If there aren’t any other cars on that side, no big deal…they aren’t even using it.  Maybe an invisible motorcycle would be better, but that would get kind of cold.

When considering the awesomeness of my idea this morning, I was thinking, what if I wasn’t paying attention?  I resolved this because I will have to pay attention 100% of the time with my awesome invisible car.  Which won’t be hard, because I won’t be sitting in traffic like all of the other idiots.  Because I have the most awesomest car EVER!!  And, I can’t get a ticket because the cops won’t see me.  They will just see that something fast went by and pull someone else over.  Probably someone driving really slow who doesn’t deserve to be on the road anyway.

When I was in high school, I was always drawing and writing stuff.  And I was always doing in to get published.  Because, in my high school mind, getting published was no big deal.  Send the publishing company the work, they send back money and voila, you’re famous and you have a book out.  I made the following when I was a senior because I’d never seen anything like it before and it still makes me laugh.

BTW, it took forever to scan these into the computer, just sayin’

It says…ahem “Cheerleader: Generally found in the backseats of cars.  Often have gum in their mouths with a strand of hair wrapped around finger.  Can be classified by annoying highpitched giggle, followed by a head swish.  They are always jumping around and laughing.  Usually wearing school colors and waving arms around.  Often found among the football player species.

Pop Star: This species can be quite interesting and entertaining, for reasons besides the obvious.  They are popping up in surprising numbers across the country.  Like the Popularity Queen species, they tend to run into things, but that is simply due to the fact they are always singing, eyes closed (of course).  More often than not, this singing makes those around them want to cover their ears and run in the opposite direction.  They also tend to “boogie” and continuously shake their hips in an inappropriate manner.

They an commonly be found in very, very tight pants and skimpy tops.  Usually have very tall, strappy contraptions on their feet that cause them to stumble when they aren’t falling due to sing-walking. (NOTE: This was before American Idol. Now it’s even worse!)

Slut: Only found around men, usually men who have a nice chunk of change.  They tend to frequent bars, mainly in the back rooms or any dark corner.  They enjoy dancing grotesquely with just about anything they can get away with, even some things they can’t.

Classified by chest area that bulges from clothing, bare mid-drift and extremely revealing skirt.  They often sit or stand in exotic, provocative poses.

Wannabe: This species in very peculiar.  They want to be everything they are not and try to actually embody these characteristics.  There are usually a few of them following and drooling on the Popularity Queen species.

They often try extremely hard to wear “hip” clothing but always fall short by some degree.  These creatures can be quite dangerous, not to mention annoying, if they happen to latch on to you.  A good weapon is splashing them in the face with water, they are terrified by the thought of running mascara.  Can be classified by constant bowing to the Popularity Queens and continuous snubbing of other species.

Nerd: Can typically be found in the quiet rooms in libraries across the nation.  Usually covet items such as pocket protectors and multi-colored pencil grips.  Travels in herd, but are sometimes seen in packs of two or three.

Can be classified by unusual clothing, often drastically out of style.  Found in the front of classrooms with hands in the air.  More common in some places than in others.

Fitness Fanatic: Found in gyms world wide.  Always obsessing about healthy living.  Love to talk and talk about exercise routines.  Usually quite jittery and constantly muttering about a schedule.  Have trouble staying still.

Clothes in multiple colors of sports bras and cheerleading shorts.  They are never without their most comfortable tennis shoes.

Popularity Queen: Constantly running into things and people due to noses stuck in the air.  Has an expectation of being worshiped by all who come in contact with them, and there is hell to pay if this doesn’t occur.  They can be found making fun of the nerd, goth, hippie and several other species.

They are often clothed in skirts and knee socks.  Tend to be seen with those just like themselves and the cheerleader species.  CAUTION: For total safety, steer clear, they can be dangerous.  Watch for glared eyes!

Goth Chick: Always dressed in black, sometimes have powdery white substance on face.  Hair is usually black and stick straight.  Has a pessimistic outlook on life and everything in between.  They are often fascinated by death and enjoy scaring non goths.

I hope you enjoyed.  Please remember that I wrote this a long time ago,even though my hand writing looks the same.  Before American Idol and back when knee socks were really in.  And if this day doesn’t speed up, I am going to freak out a little bit more every 5 minutes!!


My bed last night was very full.  Two cats and one dog.  And me.

Aravis took up half the bed.  And that was that.  She doesn’t really care about snuggling me.  She loves Justin and wants to snuggle him.  But not me, her mom.

Caspian and Chico are in a constant competition for who can get the most attention. Caspian goes into this total freak out every few days.  I think he decides he hasn’t gotten enough attention and needs to make sure I see him.  He follows me around screaming his little lungs out.  With his mouth open. And his head back.  So, he insisted on being in my face on the bed.  Chico barked in his face.  It was very dramatic.  I drew out an illustration:

It was intense.

Santa came. I heard him at 4:30am. He is so loud! People are trying to sleep around here!

Christmas is over.  It’s always a kind of blah time.  Not looking forward to taking the tree down.  I feel good about leaving it up until next week.  It looks nice.

I just spent way too much money on take out food, cigarettes (they deliver) and coke.  Now I am having the “I could’ve bought an outfit with that money” blues.  ‘Sigh’

So, Justin got me an awesome camera for Christmas!!  Everyone’s like, that camera takes awesome pictures!  Don’t they understand it’s me who takes the awesome pictures?!  Goodness, the camera just enhances my talent.  Duh.

Chico was my only subject.  I have about 20 pictures that look just like this.  In 2 of them he is staring at me with murder in his eyes (ok, maybe not murder, and just annoyance.  Still)

Tomorrow, back to work!  And then New Year’s.  I am going to be in a good mood tomorrow.  I just know it.  I am going to wear my sparkle shoes.

As you are aware, it is Christmas Eve.  Here is a cute outfit I drew.  Just for such an occasion.  Enjoy!

I hope you are having some lovely family time, and if you aren’t, please comment or email me and I will keep you company. (I am a fast responder!)

I am sure you are tired of reading about Chico’s Christmas adventures…but, I’m not done begging for him to be invited.

I spoke with my mom again last night and told her Chico has been inconsolable since hearing the news and he hasn’t slept or eaten due to sadness.  She rudely told me that she already has enough dogs at her house.  What’s one more?  She won’t even notice.  Mine will be the one behaving (while he’s not sneaking off to poo, but hers poo and pee inside all the time.  They have an electric fence inside!!).

But, today is the last day of work before the holiday and I can’t be too disappointed.  I am kind of looking forward to the Christmas drama…heeheehee

PS: This is an outrage!!

I ch0se this as my hypothetical Secret Santa gift for a fellow blogger.

I feel that this describes itself

I don’t know my person.  I tried.  It’s glass and is pretty cool…My Secret Santa is here!

Chico has been banned from my parents house for Christmas.  Why?  Because they are heartless and mean and don’t care that Chico has cried himself to sleep every night since the news.  So sad.  Here are some pictures of Chico being very cute.  I have emailed most of these to my family to convince them to allow Chico.  No luck.

In front of the space heater

Sleeping, cutely

In the sweater I knitted him


In his coat.

How could you get all of these pictures and still ban him? Especially when you are a dog person?  And you already have three dogs?  One more won’t matter.  Parents, you are heartless and Chico is crying…are you happy?

I was thinking about this while lying awake in the bed at 8:30 on a Saturday.

So, I had the hots for this dude since, like, 6th grade.  Seriously.  He lived in my neighborhood then.  And almost all the way through high school (which isn’t one word…it should be).  I found out in 11th grade that he liked me too.  After 5 years of pining.  And I did nothing about it.  Nothing.  Because I was busy.  Being a a complete hellian wonderful student.  Years passed.  He moved away for an awesome job.  He’s one of those people that the world seems to bend over for and it makes you want to kill him except that you have been pining for him for 13 years.  That is a very long time, especially when you are in your early 20’s.  Anyway, he was visiting for Christmas (see how I did that?  I included the season…that is what good writing is all about) and I Facebooked him and was all like, “We should hang out!”  And he said, “Ok.”   (I’m getting to a point, I know this is lame so far)  We hang out.  And hook up.  I’m ecstatic.  Finally, after 13 years, my dreams are coming together.  I knew he liked me.  He must’ve been pining for me too!  We hang out again.

Here is the tricky part, where honesty is the worst thing possible.  I proceeded to tell him I had been pining since the young age of 11.  He seemed unphased and flattered.  We agreed to see if we could make it work over the distance.  Again, I am ecstatic.

First, the distance communication went well.  And then I started being honest about how I felt.  Which, in a crazy world would be good.  But boys want you to lie to them and be really coy and uninterested.  Apparently, that makes them more interested…if they have to work for you.  This is a crazy world.  13 years, people. I had been holding it in for over a decade.  Do you know how hard that is for a middle schooler and high schooler?  I am lucky I didn’t just explode.

And, I quit seeing the other 2 dudes I was seeing at the time.  I sacrificed.  No more free meals from people I told we had no future and they continued to date me anyway.  ‘sigh’  Needless to say, it didn’t work out.  Because people want you to lie.  Because you shouldn’t send texts that say things like, “I really want to make this work”  and, when you haven’t heard from him in 5 days, “Are you alive?”  Because you are freaking out because your heart is going to break if this dude rejects you because it’s been 13 years!

It’s like when my mom asks me something she wishes I have done, like not have a cluttery house, and I just lie and say that I could eat off the floor because that makes her happy and she would just get mad if I said I have clothes all over the floor in my room.  And it’s non of her business anyway.  It’s like that.  But more intense.  Learn from me…lie.  It’s frowned upon, but I hear lies make the world go ’round.  Which is sad.

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