My friend Liz claims she saw a dog get raped by another dog at the dog park.  WTF?  I don’t even think that’s possible.  I mean, they could get raped with a stick or something (sorry for the mental image, I know, it’s bad), but not by another dog.  Do dogs even care about that stuff?  My dogs walk around giving each other blow jobs all the time.  (I am totally disgusted by their behavior, at least go in the other room, geez)

Liz: OMG!!  When I was at the dog park the other day, Myrtle (her dog) and I watched another dog get raped!

Me: [silence]

Liz: It was awful, the owner of the dog was really upset.

Me: …The “raping” dog’s owner was upset?

Liz: No! The owner of the dog that got raped.

Me: Liz, I don’t think they can even get raped by other dogs.  What, did the dog shove the other dog against the fence and threaten it with a knife or something?

Liz: The one dog was standing near the fence and the other dog came up and forced itself on her. It was really sad.  The owner of that dog should have done something.

Me: What should the owner have done?  It’s a dog park, there are dogs all over the place.  They are all trying to hump each other the whole time they are there.

Liz: She said that her dog was a virgin.

Me: Who?

Liz: The lady who’s dog was raped!

Me: Dogs aren’t virgins.  Please.  I can’t believe we are even talking about this.

Liz: It could have been Myrtle.

Me: She probably would’ve liked it.

And this is the gist of the conversation.  It was really ridiculous.  Dogs try to have their way with every other dog they can, male or female.  I’m pretty sure the “victim” dog didn’t even care.  I wasn’t there, but the scene was probably the dog’s owner freaking out while it stood there smiling to itself.

Liz didn’t appreciate my apathy about the matter.  Chico and I haven’t been invited to the dog park for a while.

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