Have you ever really listened to the words to Santa Claus is Coming to Town?”  That song is really creepy.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

If sounds like he is going to beat you to death.  Suppress your emotions because Santa is coming…he is going to get you!  Because

He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

OMG!  Santa is like a stalker!  He is watching you all the time?!  He is like those horrible crazies on Criminal Minds that are all about torture and insanity.  Santa is going to get you and when he does and has you in his secret lair, you better not pout or cry, because who knows what he is going to do to you.  There are all of those elf minions who are running around doing Santa’s will.  Like little demons.

When I was a kid, my mom told me that whenever I heard a noise, it was Santa’s elves watching me in the vents of the house to make sure I am behaving.  I think this lie added to my hatred of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”  Way to make a little kid paranoid, mom.  No wonder I have some emotional problems.