Out of boredom yesterday, I started reading the Notorious Killers sections of Crime Library.  I was looking for the Bizarre and Strange section, but I guess the powers that be have done away with it in the past 6 years (last time I came to this website).  Interestingly, they do showcase a Terrorists and Spies section.  This is new.

I am reading about a Black Widow named Marie Hilley from the Appalachian Mountains in Alabama.  Reading this is teaching me a lot about how to not raise a serial killer.  First and foremost, don’t move to Appalachia, duh.  Second, discipline your kinds.  Hilley’s parents didn’t discipline her at all, even though they were poor and she was lazy, and look what happened.  Take that capital punishment!  Third, don’t tell your kids they are special.  Working in the textile factory was too good for Snooty Pants Hilley.  Her parents wanted her to get an education.  The nerve.  (You know, my parents told me I was special and I grew up thinking that I was going to be part of the Rapture and help Jesus bring all of the saved Christian souls to heaven while the rest of you heathens had to deal with Satan taking over the earth for seven years.  But, that is another long, weird story.  It’s actually pretty amazing I didn’t end up killing anyone–‘pat on the back’)

Fourth, if your daughter is really pretty, you’re probably screwed.  Fifth, don’t let your really pretty, spoiled daughter marry the first dude she meets.  You might have to lock her in your barn for a few years, but she will come out okay.

And, now that she’s married, she’s out of your hair.  If I were you, I would move away and change my name so that when you does go on the killing spree, you won’t fall victim.

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all of you who are into that stuff.

P.S.  None of my coworkers wore green today.  So, I printed out this sticker for them.  We shall see how many of them will wear it.

Update: So far, I have at least 10 people with these taped to their shirts, maybe more.

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