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What was the happiest moment of your life?
Graduating from college and actually getting into a good graduate program. While this may not be the happiest moment, it’s the proudest. I never thought I would make it through. I had a good bit of adversity to face in order to make it all the way. It felt I was finally accomplishing some of my dreams.
Nothing had happened, except that I had no job, I wasn’t enjoying graduate school and who I thought was the love of my life had a new girlfriend. Nothing was going my way and I settled into a deep depression. I wasn’t making healthy decisions, I was being manipulative as hell. I pushed all of my friends away and I felt complete and utter loneliness. I didn’t think I was going to make it to the other side and I didn’t know if I wanted to.
Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
My friend who stayed beside me even as I was flushing my life down the toilet. She cared enough to risk my anger and tell my parents what I was doing. At the time I was mad, but now I understand and am thankful for her. She cared.
Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did they teach you?
Wow, these questions are tough. Multiple people who I have watched go through tough times and keep their heads up and smiles on their faces. The people who have cared when I pushed them away. Those who call when I don’t. They have taught the how to change and who I want to be and guide me.
Who has been the kindest to you in your life?
There was a girl in high school who reached out to me. She was a Christian and I was a hellion. She didn’t reach out to me in a preachy way, just in a caring way. She was there for me. I still think of her, 10 years later. She’s married and has children now and I think she’s a youth pastor. I wanted to be the person she thought I was. I felt like she saw something in me that I didn’t see.
What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life?
This is going to sound lame, but the most important lesson I have learned is that my parents aren’t always right. And, I don’t have to listen to everything they say or do everything they want me to or be who they think I should be. I feel like I’ve learned this lesson late, but I grew up in an evangelical home where parents are next to Godliness and it was ingrained in me, by them, that they always know best. Then, I went on to make many mistakes in my adolescence that proved them right. Now, I’m an adult. And I’m realizing what they think isn’t always the right thing for me. It’s hard to cut those strings and risk their anger, but I have to do it.
What is your earliest memory?
You guys aren’t going to believe this. I believe my earliest memory is getting hit on the back by the nurse to clear my airways. Maybe I just remember hearing about it or something, but I’ve always had this memory, from my point of view, of being hit on the back by a nurse and being scared and crying.
Are there any words of wisdom you’d like to pass along to me?
People try to warn you of mistakes they’ve made. Listen. Take their stories with a grain of salt. Don’t start smoking. Even one cigarette. You’ll regret it. Love. Let people in.
What are you proudest of in your life?
I’m proudest of the person I’m becoming. I never in my life thought I would be in the place (mentally) where I am now.
When in life have you felt most alone?
See above. And when I was in 7th grade and I was reaching out to my mom about feeling depressed and she got mad.
How has your life been different than what you’d imagined?
First, I never thought I would live to see 26. Seriously. I never imagined having 5 tattoos. I never thought I would feel content, much less happy, about my life and myself (for the most part).
How would you like to be remembered?
I really don’t know. I don’t think I’ve done anything to be remembered yet. I think people will remember me as being angry and I don’t want that. I’m working to change people’s perception of me, which is changing me. For the better.
Do you have any regrets?
Starting smoking, as I have previously stated multiple times. And, too many others to list. Although, I don’t know if most of them are regrets. I would probably change them if I could go back, but I can’t and they’ve made me the person I am today. And, I’m okay with that.
What does your future hold?
I have no idea. I just work hard every day to make it as bright as possible. I do see myself selling at least one thing in my Etsy store. :)
I have a new painting up in the shop. I’m really excited about this one. It’s bigger than the last and there aren’t any mustaches. I’ve been drawing versions of this for years and it didn’t come out quite as awesometastic as I’d envisioned, but it’s pretty close.
I love to paint and that is one of the reasons I wanted to open this shop in the first place. Some of you may be thinking, “So, you opened an etsy shop of knitted items to paint more? WTF?” Yes, that’s right. I’ve been wanting to do this for years, but I felt like I needed to have a whole line of paintings to open a store. Since I’m knitting all the time anyway, I can pop out a headband relatively quickly (compared to an entire knitted cardigan). And, I like to make crocheted jewelry (with metals and stuff too) sometimes and this way I can just put it up in an already existing space.
If you’re interested or if you have some kind of cartoony girl you would like painted let me know. Hopefully I will have plenty more of these girls to share with you in the near future!
OMG, you guys. I am sick again. I was sick last week, also. Maybe it’s the same sickness and it was hiding for 5 days and it’s now all like, “Surprise! You thought you got rid of me, hahahahaha!!” I imagine germs being pretty mean.
I’m toughing it out today. This sickness feels like it might like to hold on to me and stay around for a while, so tomorrow could be way worse. You never know. I always want to call my mom and have her tell me I’m sick enough to stay home from work. She says, “You know how bad you feel.” I don’t like that. I need affirmation that it’s okay to stay home. Like when I was a kid and I had a fever and I was forced to sit on the couch and watch reruns of Who’s the Boss and eat Popsicles all day. Those were the days.
After writing my last post about the Inman Park Festival getting rained out, I decided to head down there. That’s right…in the rain. I pulled on my rainboots, walked outside and jumped in a puddle for good measure.
I brought Chico and he was kicked out in about 30 seconds. And, I totally lied to the COP and told him I was just walking my dog. ‘sigh’ I live in the neighborhood, they shouldn’t keep Inman dogs out.
I made it to June‘s booth and it looked beautiful, although the skies were gray.
When I got there, the rain had subsided but was definitely on it’s way back. June and I chatted and tried to stay positive about the impending forecast. We made friends with the soap people next door (June already knew them). The beer volunteers across from our tent were the best! The were shouting at everyone, “Have a beer, breakfast of champions! Barley and Oats!” Once the sky darkened and the streetlights turned on, they weren’t deterred. It was hilarious. A downpour ensued. I thought it was exciting. I haven’t gotten to be in a tent in a downpour since I was in Brownies in fourth grade.
Below is June after tying things down and trying to stabilize the tent in the wind and rain. She kept a smile and a positive outlook the whole time!
And, me having a model moment in the rain with the beer buddies!
Fast forward to Sunday and it was sunny and hot. And fun. I wore the wrong shoes to stand for four hours, but other than that, it was great! June‘s booth was super busy and she sold a lot of her beautiful jewelry! I helped. It was awesome and fun and tiring. I met several of June‘s great friends and her cute husband. We were bombarded (in a good way) there for a while.
See those bright smiles? June looks much more relaxed and happier in the sun. She was able to sell a good amount of her inventory. I hope she allows me to help again in the future!
P.S. I was hoping, hoping to meet Lar and Cath, the infamous Asian Cajuns. They promised to stop by and I never saw them. We shall meet someday, ladies!
I have been looking forward to this weekend since last year. The Inman Park Festival. ‘sigh’ It’s in my neighborhood and there is wonderful people watching (especially my across the street neighbor and her weirdo friends. I already have my camera geared up). There are artist and antique booths for, like, 8 blocks. It’s amazing. Unfortunately (and unless you watch and listen to the news for hours every day like me, you may not know this) there are tornadoes coming from Mississippi and Alabama. You guys can keep your horrible weather. Come on. We don’t want it.
I even volunteered to work at my friend June Shin‘s booth. I love it that much. It’s thundering and raining already. I’m totally down with standing in the rain, but I think June may fear for her jewelry’s welfare. Standing in tornadoes could be fun…maybe.
On a brighter note, I won’t have to beat down neighbors due to parking foibles, yes, I almost got into a physical altercation last year. And, some asshole in a van moved my trashcan (which was obviously a barrier) out of the way to park in front of my driveway).
I don’t know what I am going to do with myself now. A whole Saturday with nothing to do. I started on another painting. It’s going to be awesome.
OMG. It just started pouring down rain. I was thinking about walking down to June’s booth to see if she’s there, oh well.
Tonight, I was inspired to paint. I have been painting and drawing all my life and wanted to take my cartoon drawings, which you all have seen in previous posts to canvas. I’m super excited about this and want to incorporate these paintings into my new etsy store!
Here is the little painting as it progressed over a couple of hours. I don’t think it would have taken me so long if I was more used to painting with acrylics. I haven’t painted with acrylics in 2 years and have been sticking to oils. Alas, if I painted this in oil it would’ve had to be a very extensive project because I’m a perfectionist and I think I would have been painting and re-painting for a month. Probably still wouldn’t have been done after that, either.
Chico was so helpful. He sat in my seat every time I got up and tried to knock over my paintbrushes.
I learned tonight that painting small surfaces with acrylics is nervewracking. But, super fun. I had a blast and can’t wait to paint more!
And here is the final! It will be listed in the store soon! I’m so excited it turned out well!! Please let me know what oyu think!
I made this today to discourage me from smoking. It’s a picture list of negatives about smoking.
If I add more, you’ll be the first to know!
I forgot to tell you guys yesterday, I launched my etsy store!
I’m so excited! That’s Roomie in the pictures. Doesn’t she look cute? I only have 3 things posted so far, but I have several more to post once I have time to take photos. I hope that this whole shop thing goes well, because I’m super pumped about it.
I’ve had such a great time crocheting and knitting these headbands and barrettes (which I haven’t yet posted) and finished my first baby headband earlier this evening.
After I write this, I’m going to dive into some Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have always shied away from this show. Because it seemed really lame and when it was on in high school, the people who were really into Buffy were not the people I wanted to be associated with. Yes, I was a snob. BUT, when I was in Graduate School, people were, like, totally freaking out about this show. They were, like, grab you arm serious about it. And there are hundreds of academic books written on the subjects of this show, so naturally, I have to see it. I heard the first season sucks and just power through.
My friend Sizzle and I have the same birthday. Last week, she posted 37 things she likes about herself because she was feeling a little down about her birthday. I decided to do the same. Birthdays after 21 have been a little hard and I’m trying not to get so weird about my birthday.
Ok. Here are 26 things I like about myself.
- I am creative
- I have a big heart
- I’m a great and loyal friend
- I love ferociously
- I’m a talented artist
- Who I am isn’t what I do for a living
- I can be compassionate
- I am learning humility (the hard way)
- I try really hard
- I am working on facing my fears
- I have put myself through hell, but it hasn’t held me back
- I stopped in time
- I enjoy learning
- I am able to be the bigger person
- I can look at the brighter side
- I’m a good singer
- I’m finny
- I want to be a better person
- I’m a good dog & cat mom
- I’m a good daughter/sister/grand daughter/niece
- I strive for change
- I can forgive
- I’m learning to let go
- I care
- Fall is my favorite season
- I can finally admit I like Christmas