Killing ants is fun and empowering.  And, they are complete assholes and I don’t feel bad about killing them.  All they do is bite and build huge ant cities in yards and try to kill anything disturbing them with their little fangs.

I wonder if they have feelings.  They do that whole sad body drag.  Watching it is a real bummer.  But, are their bodies big enough to contain feelings in there?  They don’t even have a nervous system, right? (I could totally google this, but I’m too lazy and I like speculating.)  Why do they drag each other’s bodies?  It’s probably totally selfish on their part, because ants suck so much.  I bet they take the body back to the mound and the queen eats it and it’s all just sympathy to trick us humans into not killing them.  That’s totally it.

When I was a kid, I used to wear one roller blade and one shoe and roll up and down the drive way and squash ants.  For fun.  We had those bigger black ones.  Then, I started to wonder if ants cry over their family members deaths and I started and illustrated story about a child ant whose family was killed by me, but it didn’t get very far.  Like, not even past the first page.  Even then, I had no compassion for ants.