Sunday.  I woke up and went to a Atlanta Rollergils Workshop.  Man.  That was an intense workout, and I loved it. I have to get some speed skates so I can practice, but I’m about to go to New York and am trying not to spend any money.  But I need to practice.  ‘sigh.’

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Then I went home and took a shower.  And a nap.  And I was starting to feel a little gloomy.  Break ups suck, as we all know, but one of the biggest reasons they are so horrible is that the sad just sneaks up. Like, I’m totally fine, and then BAM!! I’m a blubbering mess.  I had plans to meet a friend for lunch and I was pretty much crying before I got there.

I cried all through lunch.  I hate being that girl in the restaurant crying hysterically (but trying to hold it in) and just being a watery, snotty mess all over the place.  It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable for everyone involved.  But, mostly for the server.  Poor server.  So, I make the wonderful and obviously logical decision I need to go to the ex’s house.  Just to see him.  WTF, Windsor?!!  That is not a good idea.  Even so, the ex gives me the green light and I head over.

We exchange keys.  Why did we have to do that right then?

After this, I proceeded to cry on his couch for 20 minutes.  Why I thought this was good and rational decision-making is still a mystery.  We sat there and I cried hysterically (not pretty crying–the kind with gasps and deep breaths and lots of intense sniffling) and he tried to make polite conversation.  After way too long of this I thought, “What am I doing here?  Why was this a good idea?  I knew he wasn’t going to console me about our breakup…I must be crazy.”  So, I left.

I sobbed the 3 minutes in the car home and came home and cried and cried on the couch.  Chico was even confused about what to do.  His face snuggles weren’t doing the trick like usual and he was obviously out of ideas and getting stressed.

I planned to have some “me” time (I was at the beach and hadn’t had a moment to myself for the past 6 days) but this proved to be yet another horrid idea.  I called a friend and went to her house and sobbed on her couch.

‘sigh’

geez

I cried so much I fogged up my contacts and my eyes were all itchy.

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