I have been very selfish this week, but in a good way.  I haven’t hung out with anyone and other than going into the office, I haven’t left my house (I did walk Chico, don’t worry ya’ll).

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This is the first year of my life, pretty much, where I haven’t felt like I was going to die of sadness and depression.  This is the first year I have felt extended periods of hope and contentment.  Ya’ll, it has been amazing.  Which is why, this week has been so scary for me. I am afraid of spiraling back into that state of hopelessness and I didn’t know if I would make it back out.  In spite of all this, I have kept doing the right things, and talking to people, even though I totally isolated myself all week (which is usually not the right thing).  I think I just needed some time to feel my feelings.  By keeping myself so busy hustling around and not feeling sorry for myself, I never scheduled any time to breathe and grieve since the break up.

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Last night, instead of going to metal smithing, I came home, took like an hour nap and then sat in my bed and watched True Blood Season 1 while making jewelry and knitting.  And it was awesome.

I’m starting to feel better.  The sun is coming out again :)

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