You know how you had that best friend growing up?  Your childhood friend, you met when you were six months old and she was more like family than a friend.  And she had a sister she didn’t get along with.  And you were there for her to cry on your shoulder about the sister.  The sister was older and mean, but not unusually mean.  It’s just how siblings are.

But you were so close.  And you used to stay up all night, giggling and imagining if you were the sisters.  Your favorite thing to do was to stay up all night and make breakfast for your parents, but neither of you knew how to cook.  Oh, but it was so much fun.  You always used up all the eggs and made a complete mess of the kitchen, but it was okay because you were together.  In your little kid moment.

When you got to high school you chose different paths.  You were dark and “misunderstood” and sad.  She was happy and carefree and beautiful and talented.  Everyone liked her and you always felt like no one liked you.  You were the outsider.  Except for her.  She showed up for you and loved you through it, even through the drugs.  Not in a lesbian way, but in that undying, limitless friendship way.  Eventually, you came around and she was still there.

But, her sister got older, too.  And she moved into her sister’s apartment complex.  The two of them still fought occasionally, but they were getting closer.  The closer she got to her sister, the more she pulled away from you.  She was her sister’s maid of honor.  You thought she would be yours and you would be hers, but you realized her sister came first.  Years passed and now all you see of her is wall-to-wall posts between she and her sister, telling her to make time for her when she comes into town.  You can make time, too.  Would make time, would cancel all your plans for just thirty minutes of reconnection.

You haven’t spoken in years, but you miss her.  There is a friend sized hole in your life.  She was always there for you and you did your best to be there for her.  Since we were babies, it was you and her against the world, you know?

Oh, you don’t know?  You don’t have a friend like that?  Oh…well, it’s sad.

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