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My whole life, when anything got too hard, I quit.  Teeball, Brownies, AP Biology, graduate school…  I’ve never tried for anything I didn’t know I’d be good at (except twice, I did swim team in high school and tried out for dance team in middle school.  Sucked at both)  And right now, I’m trying at something I’m not feeling I’m good at and I want to quit so much.  BUT, I’m not going to.

Quitting has always been a way of protecting myself.  “I could be good at (insert here) if I really tried.”  And if I quit, I didn’t have to prove myself.  I could go on say I could be good at it.  Well, school is kicking my ass and I’m really trying and I don’t think I’m very good at design.  But I’m not going to quit.  I’m going to keep going.  I feel like the panic and stress I’m experiencing right now is going to kill me, but I’m going to keep going.  My fear is that I’m going to try and try and try and I’m going to find I’m not good at it and that is just not acceptable to me.  But I have to keep going to find out.

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