Well, I have been on some interesting dates lately.  Very interesting.

The one I’m going to tell you about started off well.  He’s a writer, I’m a writer.  Cool.  He wants to be the voice of our generation.  A little weird and intense, but whatever.  Then he revealed he has no car.  I swear people with no cars just flock to me.  Chico’s dad didn’t have a car.  After a year and a half of that, I just can’t deal.  At the time of the date, I was like, ok, no car.  We’ll just see how this goes, I’m already out here.  Then he told me I was beautiful, which is always nice to hear.  Until he told me about ten more times.  Like, “You’re so pretty” “You’re so beautiful” and on and on and on.  After  awhile, the desperation begins oozing out, I know I’m no model.

Then he started on the, “I really like you” “I’m soooooo glad we met.”  Also, nice to hear, but only say it once.  At the tenth time, I was like, I need to get out of here.

He also insisted on reading a passage from a book to me out loud.  A few pages worth.  I insisted he stop, I was feeling uncomfortable at this point, but he refused and said he wanted me to hear it.  Did I mention he started in the middle of the book?  Even if I had been interested, I would’ve had no idea what was going on in the story.

He wanted to shake on “Giving it the college try.”  Like, let’s give a relationship a college try.  I don’t even know what that means.  And a handshake?  Seriously?  I should’ve left right then, but being the type that wants to please and feeling confused, I was just like, whatever.

Then, THEN he asked me to be his girlfriend.  On the FIRST. DATE.  Yes.  After which he told me he wants to hang out with me every day and he couldn’t wait to see me again and did I want to come over and watch movies the next day.

It was intense, ya’ll.

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