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Recently, I was thinking about my love of proclamations. They’re pretty much ultimatums I make for my life and then never follow through. Well, sometimes I follow through, I guess that’s another proclamation. The never. Does anyone else have a problem with this? It often seems like most people have it all together and just know what to do and have no problem being adults. So, I’m like, I need to get it together. Let’s make a change, self. Then I tell myself things like,

I’m never talking to her again

I’m never talking to him again

I’m never smoking again

No more texting

No more facebook

I’m going to call one of them every day

I’m going to work out every day

I’m never eating sugar again

Those people are crazy

I’m crazy

I’m not dating anyone for 6 months

I’m going to do (fill in random, intense life change here) every day/week/month/second

I’m going to do this better

I’m going to do this perfect

Then after I make said proclamation, the next week/month/day (more often than not, it’s the next day…sigh) I’m doing it again. But not just doing it, I’m doing it full force. I’m all like, well, eff it. If I can’t do said ridiculous thing perfectly, then I might as well do the opposite super intensely. Like, I’m going to smoke 3 PACKS OF CIGARETTES TODAY since I smoked one (I have actually quit smoking for a little over 2 months, yay me), I’m going to call the shit out of this person, I’m going to eat 4 pounds of sugar, I’m going to drink EIGHT cups of coffee!!

So, after I break the whatever, I’m super disappointed in myself and I feel like a failure and a loser and crazy and like I’m never going to do anything right and blah blah blah. It’s kind of no wonder I continue to attract crazy people. Goodness me.

Maybe I will try to say things like, I’m going to try to do this better, once a week, cut down, quit, whatever. And then if I fail I can try again. Because life is more about trying and doing my best. Not doing it perfect. No one can live up to that.

Can you relate?

Day 1: My horrible packaging.  6 months ago I would’ve thought this was great, this school is breaking me.

Day 3: What has become my whole life.

After posting this yesterday about dying from boredom, I read Miss Mal’s blog post about 10 things that bring her joy and decided this is a good thing for me to participate in.

So here are

  1. Chico (duh)
  2. Working hard at something I love
  3. My knitting designs
  4. My paintings
  5. My eyes
  6. When I feel good about the way I look and give myself a break and stop telling myself I’m fat.  I’m getting better at accepting what I see in the mirror and this is a small miracle.
  7. My wonderful lady friends
  8. My new job (not the actual job, but the fact that I’m making some money)
  9. My computer
  10. How much work I’ve done on myself in the past 2 years to grow into the best me I can be
:)
What are your 10 things?  Tell me in the comments or link to your own blog post

I had a nice holiday on Monday.  But it stormed.  For half of the day.  Beautiful, sunny, hot.  Then, around 2, clouds came in.  And thunder.  But, it’s Atlanta, it does that every day.  No worries.  There will still be fireworks.  Nope.  It stormed for the rest of the day, complete with wind and a bad attitude frowny face from me.

I was able to get some great pictures before the storm clouds rolled in.

Publix cupcakes, yo!  Srsly, Publix cupcakes are the best cupcakes on earth.  The icing is amazing and the cake is so moist (yes, I’m cringing that I just used that word, too).

Chico was doing his usual staring at me and not telling me what he wanted routine.  He looked adorable, so I had to snap a pic.

My mom and dad are amazing garenders and they love to work in the yard.  My mom’s flowers are absolutely gorgeous and I just had to share.  Notice, most of the flowers are red, white and blue.

Aren’t they just to die for?  It’s so lovely to sit on the back porch and read.

I love this little UGA’s face (the bulldog).  He’s is so cute and pouty and all of us dog owners have seen this face on our own pooch.  There are two of them, another one is on the driveway.  I used to think they were moving him around (it’s a long story, but this isn’t a ridiculous thought) and then I realized that was silly for them to move him so often (by “them” I mean “my dad”).  He’s fun to photograph (the statue, not my dad.  My dad is a pain to take pictures of).

These are my mom’s rose bushes.  They are so beautiful.  As a kid, I hated picking the black spot off of them.  They’re pokey!  But, after years of tender love and care, they have grown into beautiful, big flowers.  I’m so proud of my mom for persisting!  And, the arbor is something she envisioned for the gate and had made.  Isn’t it pretty?

What’d you do for the 4th?

(Don’t forget to enter my giveaway from Shabby Apple!)

Have a great Tuesday!

Since I’ve become less angry, I am finding I have less things to blog about.  Not to mention, school started and Snowpocalypse happened.  So, Shit I Wore (aka:  SIW) is going to replace my 365 Project and will hopefully get me thinking about writing.  I have lost interest in the 365 and I’ve been getting really stressed out about all the pictures I need to post from the last 2 weeks and it’s just not worth being stressed over.  I love getting dressed, and I love fashion and make up and how these things let me express myself.  So, I’m going to share.

Before you see these pics, let me preface by saying that they’re really bad.  They didn’t turn out how I wanted at all, but I tried, so I’m going to put them up.  Also, I feel like I look really fat in them.  No, I promise I’m not just saying this to get sympathy, I feel like I look fat.  Honesty, it’s what’s for dinner.

Apparently, I forgot how to pose for pictures because I ended up looking angry and constipated.  Hey, it happens.  I’ll get better.

This girl came up to me at school today and said, “Where do you get your haircut?!!  I love it!” and I thought, “This girl must be drunk” because, you see, I’m growing my hair out and it’s in this really strange in between being really short and being a chin length cut.  Then she went on to tell me, “I tried to get my haircut like that last week and they wouldn’t do it at the salon I went to” which I thought was curious.  Why would a business refuse money?  Well, “I love the Cora cut.  Your hair is just like hers.” Cora?  I thought to myself.  Coraline?  “Cora?” I asked.  “Oh,” she said, rolling her eyes and answering knowingly, “from Tron.I guess my bad hair is from Tron.  Since I’m the only person I know who has seen that movie, I will go ahead and tell you that while watching it, I kept thinking that if I were the actress, I wouldn’t have let them cut my hair like that.  I’m not sure if I’m flattered or insulted yet.

While I was taking the pictures for this, I remembered I never followed up with pictures of my tattoo.  So, here they are.

Sweater: Calvin Klein
Jeans:  Calvin Klein
Shirt:  Target
Necklace:  Therhouse
Shoes:  Pink

Have a great weekend!

Day 107- Christmas!  It’s become a tradition that I wrap my head in bows every year.  And then I wore this out with friends…yes, I wore it out.  It was awesome.  My friends told me they prefer me with the bows, not sure how to take that.

Day 108–He’s sleeping, shhh!  Christmas excitement tired him out for days!

Day 109–My neighbors’ crazy lights.  The one with the blue and orange will have theirs up until April.

Day 110–At a trucker karaoke bar.  It was intensely redneck.

Day 111–Babysitting.

Day 112–Grocery shopping.  Yes, this is a real thing.  I just had to have a picture.

Day 113–Miss Aravis stalking Chico.  They’re ridiculous.

Day 114–Hanging out with some lovely friends.  This nice tree was up at a place in the Village.

Day 115–Me and Chico playing with the new computer’s camera.  It’s awesome

Day 116–First day of school.  Our IT dude gave a speech and I think he was just trying to scare us.  Unnecessary.   OMG, I’m so overwhelmed.  I’m doing a little sitting and crying.

 

2010 was an interesting year for me.  Very interesting.  Definitely the most life changing year I’ve ever had and definitely the best year.  Despite losing almost everything that I thought was really important, I’ve never been happier.  Life couldn’t be better.  Chico’s father walked out on us, but I needed it.  We weren’t good together.  I lost my job, but if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be going back to school.  Which I need to do.  I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.

This year, I also stopped being angry.  Because of this, I lost a lot of my readership, which, was hard at first.  I felt like I was doing so much great stuff and changing so much and there were less readers.  But, I’m slowly getting it back.  If I never get as many readers, it’ll be ok.  I feel at peace with myself and the world.  I don’t need to write about my anger anymore.  I don’t need to feel so outraged.  I realized I’m not being victimized by the world.  Everything just is.

I was driving earlier this week, and I was overcome with serenity.  “I love my life,” I thought.  Then I realized I’ve never, really, seriously thought that and totally meant it before.  In 2010, the lights in my mind were turned on.  Every day I work on myself a little more and the lights get a little brighter.

Here’s to an equally, if not more magical 2011.  I can’t wait.

(Oh, and guess what?!  My room is clean, can you believe it?)

Day 100–My friend (and I, although not pictured) being ridiculous in the costume shop.  We really found a diamond in the rough here.  We were in there for an hour trying on costumes and wigs and generally being ridiculous.  The shop keeper was thrilled.

Day 101–Here is Ms. YoDude at a friend’s b-day party.  Couldn’t miss a photo-op of this face.

Day 102–Knitting at game night.  Yeah, knitting is tough, yo!

Day 103–The smallest Santa I’ve ever seen.  He had red running pants on.  It’s was ridic.

Day 104–A fun day of skin care that I will tell you more about next week!

Day 105–Hanging out in the cold taking pictures of myself.  Doesn’t everyone do that with their phones?

106–A casualty of Christmas.  I was out walking really early this morning (it was still dark) and I saw this on the sidewalk.  At first, I thought it was a dead animal or something.  Upon closer glance, I realized it was a dinosaur.

Day 88–Art show with a friend.  We had a blast, but I, unfortunately, decided to wear really cute but really uncomfortable shoes

Day 89–Back to Macon with Chico in tow.  I can’t remember what he wanted here, but he was in a stare down

Day 90–Went to a Christmas music think at my grandparents’ church.  My grandfather was playing with his horn group.  They did a great job!

Day 91–Some left over yarn from my a headband I was making.

92–My childhood cat, Slaightybelle, trying to photo bomb pictures for my shop.

Day 93–Hanging out with the lil’ bro and Chico on a cold day

94–Eating out with friends.  It had been unseasonably cold for several days and I remember us talking about how cold we were.  We’re still cold.

Day 95–Some of the headband and scarf stash.

Day 96–A the GSU Scultpture Department’s Iron Pour.  We had a blast!

Day 97–Helping my friend finish painting her amazing pieces

Day 98–Trivia night!

Day 99–I got in the holiday spirit a little and hung a wreath on my door.

 

 

Day 72–My mom and I found a new awesome coffee shop in my neighborhood (well, new to me).  They had pumpkin cupcakes!  High tea every day at 5pm…love!

Day 73–Went to see Harry Potter the day is came out!  I can’t believe there is only one more new Harry Potter thing, ever!  It’s kind of sad.

Day 74–Went bowling with friends, they bowled, I knitted.

Day 75–Completed my first, but definitely not my last children’s bears ears.  So cute :)

76–Sick day in bed with my baby

Day 77–Decorating the family Christmas tree…alone.  This is a family tradition I love, but my dad was at tennis practice, my mom was tired and my brother was in Florida.  It was still nice

Day 78–Playing with my camera and taking fun pictures of mom’s kitchen Christmas tree.  That’s right, I said kitchen.  She has several trees.  My parents house looks like a spread in Southern Living‘s Christmas issue.  They go all out and it’s beautiful.

79–The Catholic spread in the mechanic’s office.  I thought it was a little creepy for the setting.

Day 80–AJ trying to get some play time and love from my grandfather

Day 81–Trying to take sexy pictures while driving.  This never works. (My hair looked really good that day)

Day 82–A friend of mine’s organization.

Day 83–Hanging out with my friend in the sculpture studio.  She’s perfecting her pieces before she fires them.

Day 84–Hanging with my brother and Chico the Great

Day 85–Crocheting.  Aravis is telling me all about her day, she’s a talker, that one.

Day 86–Yellow Nails!!

Day 87–My friend Megan and I being cool outside of a gallery show opening.  Yes, we are smoking.  Don’t do like us!

 

 

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