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This is what I do when tired and no one is watching. I’m in charge of the phone right now…scary.

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Even though we had no winter down here in Georgia, it was still winter-ish (depressing and dark and bare and dead). Until this week. It’s been awesome.

You know that whole thing from Bambi about being “twitterpated?” I totally have that going on right now. For some reason, in the spring, everything is more exciting, fun, fantastic. I just want to make stuff and be outside! And touch someone. Appropriately. But maybe not. Both. Definitely both.

And Chico’s really excited.

But, you guys. There’s the pollen. We had it at a 9,000+ count the other day. My brain can’t even register how much pollen that is. It’s a yellow cloud and I’m afraid to wear white or sit on anything. I just know my chest hurts and Chico is allergic and that baby Benedryl makes him high and he’s about to be really high.

One thing about not having winter is bugs. There are bugs everywhere. According to my mom, not having a winter means that there are going to be ridiculous amounts of bugs. I tried to make a little bee to go on that flower picture, but I realized it was going to take me forever to get it how I want it and I don’t care that much so just pretend you see a bee over there. Even though bees are cool.

So, spring is awesome and it makes me want to knit (isn’t that weird?) and sew things. And just be awesome and wear dresses and look dewy and fun and reach out and kiss someone.

Anyone else?

{rose picture source, styling by me}

Recently, I was thinking about my love of proclamations. They’re pretty much ultimatums I make for my life and then never follow through. Well, sometimes I follow through, I guess that’s another proclamation. The never. Does anyone else have a problem with this? It often seems like most people have it all together and just know what to do and have no problem being adults. So, I’m like, I need to get it together. Let’s make a change, self. Then I tell myself things like,

I’m never talking to her again

I’m never talking to him again

I’m never smoking again

No more texting

No more facebook

I’m going to call one of them every day

I’m going to work out every day

I’m never eating sugar again

Those people are crazy

I’m crazy

I’m not dating anyone for 6 months

I’m going to do (fill in random, intense life change here) every day/week/month/second

I’m going to do this better

I’m going to do this perfect

Then after I make said proclamation, the next week/month/day (more often than not, it’s the next day…sigh) I’m doing it again. But not just doing it, I’m doing it full force. I’m all like, well, eff it. If I can’t do said ridiculous thing perfectly, then I might as well do the opposite super intensely. Like, I’m going to smoke 3 PACKS OF CIGARETTES TODAY since I smoked one (I have actually quit smoking for a little over 2 months, yay me), I’m going to call the shit out of this person, I’m going to eat 4 pounds of sugar, I’m going to drink EIGHT cups of coffee!!

So, after I break the whatever, I’m super disappointed in myself and I feel like a failure and a loser and crazy and like I’m never going to do anything right and blah blah blah. It’s kind of no wonder I continue to attract crazy people. Goodness me.

Maybe I will try to say things like, I’m going to try to do this better, once a week, cut down, quit, whatever. And then if I fail I can try again. Because life is more about trying and doing my best. Not doing it perfect. No one can live up to that.

Can you relate?

{source}

I don’t know about you, but I’m totally addicted to my phone. I’m constantly checking Twitter and Facebook and commenting away on every single little thing that’s going on. Like this:

Who cares that I’m ordering school books, I’ll tell you. Me. And that’s it. Because they’re expensive.

So, I decided to unplug for TWO WHOLE DAYS. No phone (because texting is out of control and it’s making my life unmanageable. FAY), no Facebook and no Twitter. I had to use my computer to complete school assignments so I couldn’t completely unplug everything. But, while on the computer, I disabled my messenger so I couldn’t get distracted by it.

I gave the people I talk to regularly the phone number for the land line and encouraged them to contact me by calling if they needed anything. Shockingly, my one friend who texts me about 100 times a day (seriously, I’m not exaggerating) didn’t call at all. I guess those messages just aren’t that important.

The weird thing is that I kept thinking of random things I needed to tweet, like “These crackers taste weird” “Chico is being bossy” “It’s freezing in here.” Stupid.

Something amazing happened. I realized I can live without my phone! OMG. I didn’t know I could. No texting, facebook, twitter, whatever and I survived. (And I didn’t get in a horrible car accident where I wasn’t able to call 911. It’s a fear of mine.) I lived even though I couldn’t constantly connect with everyone I know.

But, as soon as I turned the phone back on I was stuck to it again immediately. Checking texts, Facebook and Twitter for the last two days. I think I stared at the screen for 2 whole hours and I was with friends. I missed the point here somehow.

Your smacking
makes me sad. But, sigh,
You’re so cute

School started yesterday and I’m in this class that’s an international competition. My teacher told us if the class sounds fun to us (it’s another model building class, I’m all over it), awesome and we’re going to have a great quarter. But, if it doesn’t sound fun for those people to please leave the class. He said this week was going to be our rumspringa (definition below):

A one-year period during adolescence in which Amish teens diverge from their normal traditions, experiencing modern technology and perhaps even experimenting with sex, drugs, and alcohol. At the end of Rumspringa, the Amish teenager must decide whether he or she wants to return back to his or her Amish community or remain in modern society but face shunning.

but for graphic design. If we want to be in the class, we need to get all of our crazy desires out of our system this week so we can make the decision if we want to be in this class full force or not. And that deciding to be in this class is like when the Amish kids come back to the community and decide to stay Amish and commit to the life with a vengeance as opposed to those who leave the community. He also told us that there’s a 97% return rate from rumspringa, just an interesting fact. And that when he sees those of us who come back from our personal rumpringa this week we will be fully focused on this class.

He went onto say if someone stays in the class who doesn’t want to be there and isn’t going to participate that is also fine, but he will ignore you. Then when you ask him for assistance because you’re being a lazy ass, he will just pretend you’re not there. Which is kind of great.

So yeah, this week on my design rumspringa I’m going to, like, shoot epson ink into my veins and make really ugly and crazy caffeine fueled pictures in all my adobe programs and use my exacto knife and my self healing mat to cut inappropriate shapes.

{photo source/photo styling by me}

As you may know, it’s been an interesting year for me and dating. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read here, here, here and those are just these ones that have been recorded on this blog. There has been plenty more ridiculousness I haven’t cared to share.

It’s been my year of extreme dating and frankly, I’m tired. I’m tired of the assholes I’ve met that only want to get laid. It’s like they don’t even try to woo me. I mean, try to warm me up first, geez. I’m not a prostitute.

My very close friends have been encouraging me to take 6 months to a year to commit to being single and date no one. Partly because I’ve had a boyfriend on my birthday every year for the past 11 years (not all different boys, mind you)  I keep saying I’m going to commit to this break and I really mean it at the time. Then I meet someone almost immediately after making the commitment and ignore forget.

But, none of these compare to the guy I was dating for the past two months. He was a doozy. And he didn’t break up well and when I say he didn’t break up well, I mean he went insane and turned into a horrible crazy man with red bulging eyes who was possible foaming at the mouth.

Then, then sent a barrage of rageful, nasty texts, facebook messages and emails. I, of course, being the new positive me, haven’t responded to any of this and deleted his number and blocked him off my facebook. I can’t be bombarded with negativity, feel me? Haven’t really figured out how to get him out of my email other that just deleting as soon as I see it’s from him.

Anyway, this last dude was the final straw to get me to really commit to staying single until at least my birthday. I think I can make it 5 months. It will be hard because I’m starting to freak out about it after two weeks about being alone forever. But I can’t do it!

Go me!

{source}

Inspired by this post, I’m going to dedicate 2012 to positivity.  In the past, I’ve often been over taken by pity for myself. Which is ridiculous because I’m so blessed and lucky. It’s not everyone whose parents would let her move home to go to graduate school and it’s not everyone who has the chance to follow her dreams and even go back to school. I have wonderful and supportive family and friends who are always there for me when I need some lifting up. And lately, I’ve been able to be there for them when they have needed love. It’s been awesome.

I’ve really tried to dedicate myself to positivity these past few months and it’s been amazing. Like, really,life changing amazing. Having a good attitude and looking to the positive and having a smile or a nice thought for others really makes a difference. I’ve also noticed that not being a jerk in traffic is helping, too. I don’t know if you know this, but in Atlanta, every driver is an asshole.  If one puts his blinker on, there is no way he is going to be able to change lanes. Everyone speeds up so that person can’t change lanes. This is my nature, it’s just what everyone in Atlanta does. But I don’t have to be like that and I’ve tried my best not to be. Now, I’m less angry when I drive.

So, 2012, I’m going to be nicer and maybe even start spewing some rainbows of my own.

Before I moved back in with my parents, I didn’t have cable. And before not having cable, I watched TV all the time, but I watched The Office, Parks and Recreation, Burn Notice, PsychYou know, quality shows. I never would’ve been caught dead watching “that reality crap.” I was proud to be in the  dark about the Kardashians (which I still put my foot down about), I didn’t know what a Snookie was, when someone referred to anything on the Bravo TV Network, I sneered.

Not only was moving out of the city and into the ‘burbs hard because it’s the burbs (I’m pretty sure I’d previously said something about never being caught dead out there) and I didn’t know anyone and I was moving in with MY PARENTS (gasp, moan!). They have tv and my mom watches Bravo day and night. DAY AND NIGHT PEOPLE. Going from no cable to Bravo 24/7 was super overwhelming.

Not wanting to sit in my room by myself all the time, I ended up sitting through some Bravo. For the first few months, I rolled my eyes, I acted like a 15 year old (I’m not proud) and changed the channel when my mom was in the bathroom, ahem, and I told her she was making us both dumber the longer we watched.

Then I discovered Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen.

The only purpose of this show is to discuss the housewives shows and drink on air. Literally.  That’s all it does. And it’s glorious. I can’t get enough. I started watching the Housewife shows so I’d know what was going on on this show. And now I’m sucked into those, too!!

I stayed up last night when I had to get up at 5:30am just to watch the season finale live (it’s a very interactive show) and because it’s the last show of the season. It was called the Gleeson Finalglee because Lea Michelle and the other dude from Glee were on there. It. Was. Awesome.

And, the best thing is that it’s going to be back on air January 8th 5 DAYS A WEEK. That doesn’t really have to do with the Gleeson Finalglee, but…

Andy Cohen has a turtle and she tweeted me this picture one time. It was awesome.

Also, my dream job when I graduate is to work on this show. They have a graphics department that photoshops stuff all over other random stuff. ‘Love’

I’m finished with my quarter.  The build up to final critique is insane.  There’s really nothing like it.  The week before, no one is sleeping or eating or doing anything fun.  Which means there is a huge lack of rationality.  And a lot of crying.

But it’s all worth it, I tell myself.  Because I just know my projects are awesome (well, some of them). If I work hard enough, the critique panel will like my stuff and they’ll tell me their companies are going to hire me on the spot and I can drop out of school and nyan cats will rain down upon me.

It never happens that way!

I spent hours upon hours upon hours (x100) working on a model for a knitting shop. Here’s some lovely pictures:

(The first rendition of the outside walls were clay, but they fell apart after it dried.  The clay walls were awesome)

I also knitted and crocheted all of those little things out of embroidery floss. EMBROIDERY FLOSS. On size 0 needles.  I’m so glad to be done with that.

So, the lady in my critique told me it was too expected. She wanted to see more. And that the rest of my projects were not very good (No nyan cats raining :(  ). The other 2 people were more pleased, but the one lady.  Geez.

But now it’s over. Yay. And it’s Christmas time! Yay. See the little Christmas tree in the model? No detail left unattained, ya’ll.

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